Probably one of the most typical concerns we have always been inquired about polyamory, and therefore I see on poly discussion boards and hear at poly get-togethers, is “ exactly What kind of guidelines are great to have in poly relationships?”

This is why sense. Guidelines offer a sense of structure and order. We grow up being told the rules of monogamy would be the only means to operate a relationship; if we release those guidelines, you want to change all of them with brand new guidelines. The choice can appear chaotic and threatening; us safe if we don’t have a framework of rules, what will keep? Just what will avoid our partners from leaving us?

I have already been in only about every poly configuration it is possible to name: solitary individual in a relationship with one person in a few, married individual with a monogamous spouse in relationships with solitary poly individuals, hitched in relationships along with other partnered people, unmarried in a free system of solitary and partnered poly individuals.

Through all those relationships spanning lots of years, I have discovered that a framework of guidelines supplies the impression of security, but seldom provides any real safety

You can find only a few guidelines, apart from those who cover certain safe-sex or monetary factors, that appear to work regularly when you look at the long term. Continue reading →